Chapter 12 (B): Complications

Author's Note: This will be my version of the remaining discontinued chapters of the Midnight Sun. This chapter will be continued from where Stephenie Meyer had left it. I know its a little too long, so I'm trying to keep it as short as possible. My continuation of Chapter 12 will be separated into two parts. Last part will be uploaded within this week. Second attempt on fanfiction, I hope I'm doing it right...hehe. Read and review? :D

P/S: if you have not read Stephenie's chapters on Midnight Sun, you can get it from her official website here. The direct link to download the pdf file, click here. Her books are awesome! Go get it!

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, various publishers including but not limited to Little, Brown and Company, Time Warner Book Group, and Summit. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 12

Complications

...........Alice’s vision during lunch flashed as I was leaving Bella’s house. My hands tightened around the stereng, eyes filled with anxiety and fury.

...........The meadow.

...........I replayed the last scene Alice shown me. A bright circle of sunlight casts an almost shimmery glow around the meadow. The one and only quiet place where I could count on being alone, safe and free from clouding thoughts of others. But this time, Bella was with me. Too close to be comfortable. She lay underneath me with her eyes closed, my lips hovered at her jaw, an almost foreign desire so pronounced in my face—

...........I rammed the break sending the tires screeching to an abrupt halt as though stopping the car would stop the vision from overpowering my senses. I was panting hard. That vision, it can go two ways. Was that why Alice was in tension and horror when she had the vision? Was I going to end her life there, when all I wanted to do was to show her my personal hideout? Have I disappointed everyone who had faith in me, seeing me as Bella’s unlikely protector? Or, was it something…else?

...........Like a tacky, tattered blanket, a cloud of despair smothered me. Disgust for myself burning like a fire without warmth. I’ve betrayed her trust. Saturday was the day I was going to kill her.

...........No.

...........Tires screeching again, this time reaching towards the white marble house in the forest.

...........“Alice!” as I left my car at the porch, fuming at myself, I look for the only person who can decipher the vision right.

...........Alice appeared right at the bottom of the stairs, grinning.

...........“Alice, explain. Saturday.”

...........Can I talk to her yet? Come on, Edward!

...........“What was that you saw at the café Alice? At the meadow, was I going to kill her?” I gritted my teeth at the last few words.

...........Alice’s grin faltered, her eyes searched for mine. “Is that what the vision mean?”

...........Various pairs of eyes rested on me. Rosalie and Emmett stopped in the middle of their conversation and Esme froze beside the vase of flower she was arranging. Alice took a step forward. “Why did you think so?”

...........“Because right from the start, I didn’t deserve the confidence pledged in me,” I replied bitterly.

...........Should have gotten it over and done with. Rosalie huffed in her thoughts, knowing well that I would hear her.

...........Esme rested her hands on my shoulders. She sighed. “Edward, it is probably not what it seemed to be.”

I turned to her, seeing the pain in my eyes reflected in hers. I wanted to believe her. But I should have known better, “Not what it seemed to be? Do I want to take that risk?”

...........“Edward,” Alice whispered. Esme is right. I didn’t think that you were going to kill her when I saw that vision. I was horrified at first, and then—I realized something.

...........I looked at Alice, ignoring the slight twinge of hope warming my chest. “What?”

...........She gave me a faint smile. I thought you were going to get your first kiss.

...........That thought held my despair at bay for a moment. Could that be?

...........Esme squeezed my shoulder gently, “The sensation of doubt seems to always play the same game, Edward. It's so quick to choose the news about terror that you fear will happen, than to be held steady by the love in the chest.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It never cease to amaze me how this girl right in front of me, wrapped in her blanket, twitching in her sleep could affect my mood so easily. Calm and stillness is like a nature to us, and ever since her life intervened mine, her every smile, every step and every look created small ripples in my once hidden, mundane existence. I sat on her old rocking chair, pondering on the little confrontation with Alice hours ago.

I have always been so sure about myself. Every step of mine used to have a purpose and rational behind it. Used to, I scoffed silently. And here I am, right now, so blinded by love just like any other humans would. Day by day, my fight with the monster in me longing for her blood has not become any easier. However, the emotions and protectiveness I felt for her were so empowering.

And I want to know about her more. Everything. What does she do when she’s bored? What kind of songs she listen to when she is upset? What are the things that frustrate her? Being around her is like a whole new experience. Not being able to grasp her thoughts behind those beautiful brown eyes got me guessing all the time. Always worrying, always anxious.

I walked towards her study table. Papers scattered around her computer. Doodles. I smiled. Books were stacked neatly at another corner of the table, all classics. I drifted my fingers across the spines of the books while I observed the collection of CDs she had. Just like the first time I was here, the one on top was just a clear jewel case. When I was about to reach for her CD player, I heard her breath turned heavier.

With the little furrow between her eyebrows and her trembling lips, “Edward,” she whimpered. “Please, no.”

...........I tensed, staring at her unopened eyes. She moved restlessly again, rolling to her side. She’s dreaming about me, and voicing her rejection. What could I possibly be doing in her dreams? I felt my dead frozen heart break, she knew, finally. I should have known that she would realize some day, that she deserved better. Was she afraid in her dreams?

I let my eyes lingered on her face for a few moments, willing myself to never put her in the position she was in her dreams. I forced myself to look away, turning towards the window and pulling another breath of her scent into my lungs. The thirst in my throat burnt strong but it felt distant somehow. It didn’t matter anymore. I will keep my distance from now on.

Turning towards the window, as I launched myself towards the lawn, I was stopped dead in my track.

...........“Stay,” she sighed. “Don’t go. Please, Edward…don’t.”

...........My name. She wanted me to stay with her, there in her dreams. And I saw that little smile on her face. I struggled to identify the emotions soaring through me. I had no words strong enough to hold them. I stood for a long moment, staring at her, drowning in the sudden influx of emotions.

...........When I surfaced, I'm not the same man I had been. All this while I have been jumping into conclusions, making my life with her harder than it already is. Gazing into her unconscious face, I realized, I would do anything to keep that little contented smile on her face.

Next: Chapter 12(C): Complications >>

You know Edward will be spending the day with Bella. Questions, questions, questions.