P/S: if you have not read Stephenie's chapters on Midnight Sun, you can get it from her official website here. The direct link to download the pdf file, click here. Her books are awesome! Go get it!
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, various publishers including but not limited to Little, Brown and Company, Time Warner Book Group, and Summit. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
The sun rises soon after, and I’ve ran back to get my Volvo. My mind has never been more resolved. It’s another day, but what makes it special was I was going to spend it with Bella. As Chief Swan drove off to work, I swerved and parked my car in front of her porch.
When she stepped out of the house, all I could do to not stare at her was to focus my gaze on the cracks on the tree trunk outside her house.
Easy, Edward Cullen. I took a deep clean breath.
Once the passenger door was open, I greeted her. “Good morning. How are you today?” Knowing she didn’t have a dreamless night, I’d just like to hope that she will unknowingly leave hints about her dreams. About me.
“Good, thank you,” she smiled.
I noticed the circles under her eyes. It may sound a little ridiculous, but I was irritated with the Edward she was dreaming about. What had he done to my Bella? “You look tired,” I said pointedly.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she swung her thick chocolate mane around her shoulder. A gesture she tends to do when she is nervous from my perceptivity. Her scent swirled in the car. My throat itched painfully. But I appreciate it anyhow. It reminds me to be careful with her.
Wanting to lighten up the mood, “Neither could I,” I smirked.
She looked at me, “I guess that’s right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did,” she relaxed.
“I’d wager you did,” on second thought, if only vampires could sleep. It would be nice to have her in my dreams.
“So what did you do last night?” she asked casually, looking out of the window.
I chuckled. If only she knew. She has this knack of asking questions that sound downright innocent but the answers will certainly give everything away. I'm sure the idea of someone enjoys watching her sleep every night will not be well received under any circumstances.
It’s time to turn it around. “Not a chance. It’s my day to ask questions.”
“Oh, that’s right. What do you want to know?” her forehead creased. I wonder why she was frowning. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise though. Who wouldn’t worry when you have a vampire getting ready to assault you with whole list of personal questions? I paused in my tracks. Will it be a little intimidating to pry at her this way? What if I asked questions that she didn’t want to reveal? I couldn’t be sure that I will not push for answers.
I shrugged. Being a vampire for good ten decades without a partner did not do any good to communication skills let alone with the girl you are interested in. Curiosity took over. I suppose if I'm being serious enough then it wouldn’t seem as though I'm poking fun at her.
Let’s start with something fundamental, I thought.
“What’s your favorite color?” I questioned, keeping a serious face.
“It changes from day to day,” she rolled her eyes.
Interesting. “Then what’s your favorite color today?”
She cocked her head to the left as she answered, “Probably brown.”
I snorted. “Brown?” That’s not something I expected. What happened to red, green, yellow, black, white…blue perhaps? She looked adorable in blue the other night, I added mentally.
“Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that’s supposed to be brown—tree trunks, rocks, dirt—is all covered up with squashy green stuff here,” she ranted with the little furrow on her forehead, very irritated.
I wanted to laugh. What do guys nowadays call that? Cute, if I'm not mistaken. Very fascinating, I chuckled inwardly.
Be serious.
“You’re right,” I straightened my face. “Brown is warm.” I said as I looked at her, noticing her hair flowed over her shoulder, hiding half of her face. I reached over and brushed her hair back. I wanted to get a glance at her eyes, the only way for me to decipher her thoughts. They were warm and melting brown. How befitting.
I rounded a corner and pulled into an empty parking lot. I remembered something that I was so close to finding the answer last night. Swallowing the guilt of checking her personal belongings, I asked, “What music is in your CD player right now?” She only listens to that particular CD I noticed. Always the same empty jewel case.
“Muse.”
She never ceases to amaze me. She reads classics! With…Muse? I smirked and reached towards my CD compartment pulling out a CD that I knew she would recognize. “Debussy to this?”
She looked at the case with surprise she tried to hide. While doing so, she blushed. I’ve grew to love that tint of pink on her pale cheek, feeling her face getting warmer, intensifying her scent in the car. Making sure no one is in the parking area, I held the car door open for her in a flash.
“If you were given a chance to have a free plane ticket, where would you want to go?”
“Paris, probably,” she shrugged.
“France?” I cocked an eyebrow. “Because it’s romantic?” That has got to be the reason.
Bella rolled her eyes. “Seriously, males got some grudges on being romantic or what?”
“Not really. I was just making assumptions, Bella. Hold on to your attack,” she can be so judgmental at times.
“Charlie hates romance,” she grinned. “Well, anyway it wasn’t because it’s romantic,” she rolled her eyes again, imitating my tone. “Paris is the City of Lights. It has got to be beautiful at night. It will be like stars on a clear night. I like stars,” she paused. “Well, not much can be seen around here, I realized,” she mumbled.
“Paris is not really that far away, actually. It can be arranged easily,” I nodded to myself.
Bella raised her eyebrow skeptically as she stopped at the edge of the cafeteria, “Why am I getting a feeling that you are thinking of getting me plane tickets as a gift?”
Amused, I stopped beside her and inched closer to look into her eyes. “So, you don’t like gifts? Can’t I get you a gift?”
Her heartbeat fluttered as her eyes dazed. Moments soon she snapped out of it, “Edward!”
I love the way she said my name, even though she was angry.
“You are suggesting on sending me to Paris! A plane ticket is not exactly a gift. I mean, you can’t…I can’t…how could I possibly explain it to Charlie? Think about it!” she breathed, with her cheeks flushed again.
Enjoying her edginess, I thought of pushing my luck. “What about I need you to accompany me to Paris? It will be boring to go alone. I love lights too,” I laughed.
Bella opened her mouth about to voice her objection and then she closed it without so much of a word. I managed to catch a twitch of smile at her lips before she walked towards her English classroom.
It continued like that for the rest of the day as I walked her to English and I went for my Spanish class with Emmett. Waiting for her outside of her classroom for lunch, voices filled my head as students walked pass me.
He’s always here when the class ends. Ugh, creep.
Oh, Edward Cullen.
God I need something more than sandwiches! Mince pie maybe. Tuna!
Literature homework, Biology report, basketball practice, picks up laundry...
And then I sorted out Angela Weber’s thoughts. Ben was so interested, I think. He’s such a nice person. I didn’t expect him to talk to me. Bella told me to ask him out. Should I do that? Bella looks so radiant today. I'm glad she’s happy…oh, math quiz in two hours!
Being able to help Angela was my little gratitude for her for always being such a nice person especially around Bella. Bella was happy? Because of me?
“Hey,” Bella’s voice was something I can never miss despite the noise.
“Hungry?” I smiled, happy to see her again even it was just an hour break.
“Sort of.”
We grabbed some food from the cafeteria and sat down at our usual empty table.
“So, what is your favorite book?” I asked after giving her a few moments to chew with her celery.
“Lots of them. Romeo and Juliet, I think.”
“That’s a play,” I pointed out.
She shrugged, while reaching out for a slice of pizza, “It’s literature, and it is beautiful.”
“They died,” I replied dryly. Romance stories have to have tragic endings to be remembered. And I bet the direction I’m heading with Bella has pretty much the same degree of calamity.
She stopped chewing momentarily. Looking up to meet my eyes, she said, “Yes they did. But they died loving each other. The path of true love never runs smooth.”
I felt my heart twitched, if it is even possible. Bella’s right. The path of true love never runs smooth, I recited. The way she said it, looking into my eyes, I don’t know what she meant. It has never been more frustrating—being able to read everybody else’s thoughts but the one and only person that I really wanted to, I couldn’t. Does she see us as true love? If she does, does she know the trouble awaiting her in the future with me being part of it? I shuddered to think. The way she interpret things, I'm sure as hell she doesn’t care even if she knows what she’s getting into.
Silly girl, I thought. I couldn’t tear my gaze off her. How much more endearing she could be?
“Edward?” she breathed. “Don’t do that,” she said in a low voice, setting down the unfinished pizza while carefully avoiding my eyes.
I was clueless for a brief second, “Do what?”
“Staring at me,” she blushed an adorable shade. “Not entirely a very comfortable—one-way exchange to sit through, if you must know.”
I chuckled, I tend to tense and stay very still when I'm thinking. Needless to say I forgot that at the same time I was staring at her. “My apologies, Bella. You could have made it a two-ways exchange to avoid awkwardness,” I laughed, sometimes I couldn’t help but to tease her. Her indignant self has always been very amusing.
“Well,” she stuttered, “That…wasn’t awkward…you—” she closed her mouth midway, glaring at me. “Don’t do that too!”
“What did I do wrong now?” barely holding back my snickers, I was wondering what made her stuttered. Nevertheless, I’m still very amused.
“Flirting!”
My snickers turned into laughs.
“Oh shut up, Edward.”
“First I can’t give you gifts. And then I was told I'm not supposed to stare and flirt. Now I'm not allowed to talk too?”
She grabbed her slice of pizza and chewed a little too hardly, mumbling under her breath, “Male…vampires.”
I smirked. “Let’s start from where we sidetracked, shall we?”
She glared.
“So what is your favorite animal?”
“Dog.”
“Favorite cake?”
“Vanilla,” she answered. A random thought popped in my head. Her scent has a tinge of vanilla…and jasmine, I suppose. Lavender?
“Favorite fast food?”
“McDonalds. Double cheese burger.”
“Shopping?”
“Not much.”
“Christmas?”
“Yeah.”
“Beach? Sunny…desert?”
“Used to.”
“Used to?” I cocked my eyebrow. I remembered her telling Jessica she missed beaches.
“I kind of like it here,” Bella replied. “Forks.”
“I thought you hated rain,” I stated. That was one of the few things she told me about when we had our first conversation.
“Still hate it pretty much,” she smiled. “There is something more here.”
“Charlie?”
She nodded. “Believe me he can’t cook for nuts.”
“Favorite gemstone?”
“Topaz.”
I wondered. “Why?”
She quickly averted her eyes to the window and flickered back to me and finally ended on the plate. “Because—topaz is pretty.”
I scoffed, “Bella, lie harder. You’re not trying.”
“It’s the birth stone of November!” she insisted indignantly.
“Alright alright,” I held up my palms. “Tell me then, why?”
With a sour tone she answered, “I told you.”
What was there to hide about her favorite gemstone? It wasn’t like I hadn’t asked her more personal questions before. “Tell me,” I commanded, frustrated that she kept her eyes away from me.
Finally, she loosened up. “It’s the color of your eyes today,” she sighed. “I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I’d say onyx.”
I went still for a moment. My eyes? That’s certainly something new. If so she will notice if I have been hunting. Why wouldn’t she? My heart sunk. She was looking down at her hands on her lap. I can hear her heart beating faster. Was she embarrassed or nervous? Either way, I have no rights to feel upset about it. I have long accepted what I have become. Fluorescence eyes.
Tearing my mind off the matter, I decided not to ruin the day.
“What kinds of flower do you prefer?”
She sighed in relief and smiled. “Lavender.”
* * * * * * * * * *
We continued the day to Biology. I can hear Mr. Banner’s thoughts before he entered the room with the audiovisual cart— biology documentation again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I slide my chair slightly farther away from Bella as casually as I could.
The previous Biology period was a mistake. I let myself sat close to her and the electricity hummed between us was enough to charge the whole room. Being that close to her only made me want to be closer still. The pull grows stronger as I got closer, and my own thoughts of warning shrieked louder in my head. Knowing I have failed controlling myself miserably the other day, I have promised myself that I would savor the memory and keep an appropriate distance. With me she is far more precious and fragile than she already is.
At the corner of my eyes I saw her leaned forward on the table, resting her chin on her folded arms. She balled her fist. The same posture she held. She was too, restraining from physical contacts with me.
I forcefully tore my eyes from her. It has got to stop here. With superb tactile sense does not mean I wouldn’t hurt her. I am danger spelt literally. The closer I get, the attraction and temptation grew in force. A teenage boy probably will annotate it as raging hormones, or physical attraction. But for me, it was much more intricate.
Not once during the whole hour did she look at me. Her eyes stayed fixed on the television but her body stayed tense and rigid throughout the whole video. What wouldn’t I give up for her thoughts right now. All the questions I have been asking her had barely scratched the surface of her character. It was so perplexing. For one moment I could be the happiest man on earth knowing she returns my feelings for her and for another moment I am totally tormented with her fate. With me. Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral. Temporary.
She will be one of us someday, Edward. When the image flashed you were there and you saw it. Alice’s voice ringed in my head. I wouldn’t want to transform her. I wouldn’t want to be the one who takes everything away from her.
But how else would I live if I were to leave her? I could leave silently, allow her to age and live like any other normal human would. It is nature. It is only natural. But her funeral will be the day I leave too. To where she will be going.
The lights flickered on. “Your reports are to be handed in by next week completed with diagrams. Alright off you go!” Mr. Banner dismissed the class as Bella finally stole a glance at me. She looked worried. Can she see the pain on my face?
I rose in silence and waited for her to pack her things. For the first time of the day we walked silently to her gym class. I peeked at her from the corner of my eye. How long would she be with me like this? It was never going to be the same for the rest of her life—within my arms reach.
I allowed myself one selfish moment. I raised my hand and gently stroked her face. I don’t want to lose you, Bella, I whispered inside.
90 years I lived, and none have filled the hidden void inside me, stinging within. Eating me inside out—the loneliness. Feeling helpless that I couldn’t die.
Seconds ticked by, I searched her eyes. I waited for a sign of assurance. Maybe a tilt of the head towards my hand or a smile would do. If she wants me to stay I will. If she wants me to leave, I would too. Right from the start, it’s all about her.
And then I felt her cheeks warming against my cold skin. She gave me a blush instead. She bit her lower lip and looked down. Let me see those eyes. Tell me what you’re thinking Bella. I silently pleaded. I moved my hand to cup her chin. Within fraction of seconds I stopped and retrieved my hand. I sighed. Enough.
Without saying a word, I forced myself to turn and walked away.
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