The Starting of The Ending

Hello everybody. Going well? Nice weather. Chocolate bar? This is Sue speaking. What? I sound weird?

Well yes I do =.= Finished one General paper today. It was…fine. Yes, fine. As in, fiiiiine. But heck, it’s just the starting of this examination and I feel so fucking fatigue. ><

And not to mention my normal routine of falling sick at the eve of every single examination. From the small monthly insignificant test, to midterm exams, finals, trials to major government examination. =.=

It is so goddamn annoying. You have to take medicine, and then when you want to do some last minute studies, you just can’t. Because you have to sleep due to the drowsiness caused by the tablets; but you can’t stop the medication, because it will get worse, and then will affect your upcoming papers! Fucked up. *sigh*

Tomorrow will be Physics Paper 1, and General Paper 2. Well, the only day with two papers. Scratch through tomorrow, I will feel better I suppose.

Today wasn’t entirely a bad day; it was all worthwhile when it comes to the afternoon XD

Ting ting!!! Gotta go! Screw tomorrow!!

*cackles madly and fades away*

Mood:

Unstable

Another Just-to-preserve- my-sanity-from-major-exam-blog-post

Wow. Nice title. *admires* =P

It’s been awhile since I last post an entry to this blog. Well, I don’t feel much philosophical right now, so this will be another not-so-formal-entry. :P Next week is my judgment day. I mean, judgment week. Or whatever you call it. Fuck STPM. Honestly, I can't take it anymore =.= this is fucking annoying. This will be the first time you guys seeing Sue screwing up in major examination. Mark my words. I know my own business. If I go all out, heck it wouldn’t make a difference. =.= okay it will. But not much. *silence* well, whatever.

Let’s move on to a more cheerful topic—ice cream!! Haha…yeah. Do not try to resist its charm! You know you want it! =P Baskin Robins…ahhhh. I just took one today. It forever tastes so friggin nice. Well, yes its fucking expensive, I know that. Two scopes it costs 15 bucks. That’s hell a lot for two scoops =.= but then again its worth it!! The texture of the ice cream, the way it melts slowly in your mouth, the way it pampers your taste buds…the cooling effect, the combination of amazing flavour…argh shit. I need ice cream now. *excuse me* XD

Okay I'm back. Nope. No ice cream. I ended up with chocolate from Russia that my dad bought when he went there for a dealer’s trip. But heck, bitter chocolate tastes so fine. *savouring* I remember there was once I tried this chocolate with wine filling. It tasted just so fucking awesome!! Well, too bad, there were just a few. My aunt bought them from Australia, and I can't seem to find it till now. *shrugs* but do you know Beryl’s Camior extra fine bittersweet chocolate is easily affordable and yet it taste so goddamn good? Just head to your nearest 7-eleven, check out the counter and this long rectangular black box. It’s just RM2.60!

Well, back to my boring life. Err, no—on second thought, I don’t think my life is boring. *confused* it was really happening. Well, in a wrong way I suppose. It was all jumbled up last month. But fuck it, I'm through. XD All those rubbish about betrayal and disappointments, are things we just have to go through. And though it sounds so damn annoying, “The outside world is more dangerous, Sue Anne. You look at the newspaper! You wait till you start to work! Everyone is trying to eat you!” quote my mother. But of course she didn’t mean the last part literally, but heck its true. What I’ve seen till now is nothing. =.=

With exam approaching, I should focus on my preparations, naturally. But just like everyone, laziness tuning in XD human nature, human nature. Haha…but sometimes I do wish I can have this real life ‘block’ function in MSN Messenger. To block out some…bothersome people, who has caused enough chaos in my pitiful life. And this fraud calls me, “my dear friend”. He probably repeats that in every single sentence he says. Goodness gracious—give me a break. Firstly I'm no more yours, and I am not fucking dear to you, and no, since which decade we were friends?! Go get a life dude, I’ve moved on. =.=

*yawns* seriously, life sucks whenever there is major examination like STPM. I think I need to go and…*disgusted face*…study.

Yeah, study.

Fuck Pengajian Am.

Mood:

Kinky

Happy Birthday to Me

Yeah...pathetic I know.
But I just wanna wish myself: a very happy birthday, Sue.

Time to grow up, look ahead, let the past be the past, strive for your goal (or gold), and smile always.

Ahhh...yes. HAHA...

25 Things I Hope to Do After This Birthday:

1. Unfortunately, I still have to sit for STPM. Haha…damn the timing. So, I would hope that I can study more. XD because I know I'm simply not doing enough.
2. So all the following, will be post-examination. Now the very first thing I wanna do after I finish my STPM, is BURN THE FUCKING TEXTBOOKS!!!
3. Okay…then I will want to swear a chain of very colourful vulgar words at Chemistry and Physics. And then bid my farewell to them. I'm leaving you for business!! Argh, I’ve had enough of Sciences!!
4. Next will be whacking my brother in his head with his new Form 4 AddMaths book, then stuck my tongue out and say, “Goddamn you, now I’M freeeee~”
5. Fifth! Go out!! Shopping! Movie! Ice cream! Whatever! Just out of the house!! XD
6. Bug my dad for a new guitar.
7. Search for scholarships and suitable courses.
8. Resume my very big writing project of Disguised Ambiguity. ><
9. Finish the short story of “Journal”.
10. Sign up for vocal training classes.
11. Go back to KL, meet all my old, precious friends.
12. Attend my primary school gathering.
13. Sleep A LOT.
14. Go to William’s with eMamakers.
15. Go jam with Faiz.
16. Watch Heroes.
    
17. Bug my dad again for the damned guitar.
18. Celebrate brother’s birthday.
19. Celebrate Chun How’s birthday.
20. Celebrate my own birthday again. XD well, hey!! It’s not fair isn’t!? My birthday is right at the eve of everyone’s finals!
21. Makeover for my hair.
22. Learn those troublesome cyber codes for eMamak.
23. Swimming!!!
24. Learn how to not blink in 20 seconds.
    
25. I really want that new guitar. *grin*

Mood:

Joy

Sue Rambles

I’m bored. Okay, it might seem to be the lamest starter ever, but heck, I AM bored. Have been fiddling around a lot. Posting every single replies to the thread I came across in eMamak, chatting with people in my contact list that I don’t chat at all for like 2 years, messing around in Facebook…my goodness sue. STPM is fucking around the corner. Hell, it is just lurking at the corner and is watching for any opportunity to strike and ambush you. And you are not asleep yet.

This will be the first not-so-formal-post in this blog. First I love to write. Fanfictions of course. But my inspiration kind of dried off for like…2 months already. Because of what, I don’t know. *silence* Okay okay… I think I know the reason. It’s just that I love to live in denial.

Heck, I lived in denial for like—one and a half year? You have no idea what kind of emotions combo I’ve had in these few weeks. Anger, hurt, disappointment, gratitude, lost, sorrow, uncertainty, frustration, fear…hatred. These turmoil of emotions are deranging. When it attacks, you feel so overwhelmed that you feel sick. You get so frustrated and emotional like you wanna kick the wall. (Yes I know that hurts, which is the only thing prevented me from doing so.)

I’ve seen many different faces in just a few weeks. The true colours of people around me. Apparently, what you see is not always what you get. And what you give can never weigh the same as what you will have. See, life is just—unfair. If you give all your heart to anyone, to those gullible people outside, never do that. If you are lucky—very very lucky, you get a person who will know just how to take care of your pity heart. Well, if you just have a tad bit of luck, people take your heart, smile and say thank you, then leave it to rot. If you are just like anyone out there with an average level of luck, to the wrong hands you land your heart with, be prepared. Be prepared to get your heart ripped into pieces by their filthy bare hands. In the process, they take away hope, faith, and your balance in life.

I'm whining too much, really. Yes I know, there are people would have been through worse. And it wouldn’t be fair to say that what I’ve been through was totally terrible. At least, among all the things I’ve lost, I gain things that I knew have always belonged to me. It was just because I lived in denial. I abandoned such wonderful things.

My freedom, my smile, my maturity, my true friends. (Shit, it sounded so goddamn corny. And Sue does not write corny shit.)

Anyway, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone that has expressed their sincere concern towards me. I’m coping fine; I'm living my life like I’ve never breath before. I'm back to my old self—and guys, I'm home.

Mood:

Thankful