The Reason I Cried

Tears formed can be of any reason. People can cry for every reason. And when you do, a rush of emotion run through your body, as if it was channeled from your veins into your blood arteries and sent directly into your heart. The gush of tears, the heaving chest, the sudden eruption. Who hasn’t felt it before, who actually manage to avoid it at all?

You cry when you feel helpless, when you feel so torn inside, when you think everything is falling apart. Your heart is broken into pieces; your mind doesn’t seem to function. You let emotion wash you over. And that’s when your body takes charge. You cry. You let go.

Sometimes you let it flow quietly. Sometimes you’ve just got to sob. There are even times where you couldn’t control—you break down. You cry, you wail, you hide yourself under your blanket…or you just sit in a corner and bury your face in your hands. The slash made you feel, that poignant pain right there, inside you.

Yes, I do cry like that. I used to cry like this, as if it is the end of the world. But this time, no. It wasn’t painful, nor is it bleeding inside. This time, it is reconcilement. It rebuilds, it heals. I cry because of appreciation and gratitude. You made me understand. You made me realize it wasn’t the end of everything. You reminded me that I won the battle, so I shouldn’t lose to myself.

When it all happens I was so lost. I shut myself out. I build barriers so high that even blocked out the happiness that I deserved. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of pain. I didn’t want to try again; I just didn’t want to bet. It was cowardice. I thought it will be better to hold on to all the chips I have in hand, rather than betting it all once. For it might double, or I will lose everything—again.

But you ensured me it won't. You relished the pain. You mended the broken heart. You taught me how is it to smile again. And then I learnt to feel the joy life can bring.

I cried. But I wasn’t sad. I was happy that I cried—for these tears shed made me realized:

“When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.”

Mood:

Resolved